Monday, December 28, 2015

The Dating Chronicles – Beware the Dating Apocalypse

This post is very much a reaction to an article that appeared in the September 2015 issue of Vanity Fair, which can be read in its entirety here. It is also our take on the perceived “Dating Apocalypse” we’re now apparently facing.

In the article, reporter Nancy Jo Sales both observes and approaches groups of twenty-somethings in different bars, on varying nights in Manhattan, as they swipe through Tinder, either complaining or joking about their experiences.

It should be of note that the groups are never mixed; they’re either all male or all female. We’re not sure if this would have changed the perceptions of anyone interviewed, but having someone of the opposite sex there may have driven the conversations further.

We’ll let you read the article and make a judgement call for yourselves, but based on things Sales heard, and our own experiences, here are our thoughts on this Tinder (and other dating apps} situation, if we can even call it that.

“Tinder sucks” - Then why keep swiping? If it’s not doing anything for you, delete your account, put your phone down, and actually have a conversation with the person/people you’re with. There’s this notion that Tinder is only for hookups (not true) and if you want more than that you’d better give up on it.
Rack ‘em up – One of the more disheartening comments made surrounding the use of dating apps was about competition between guys and sleeping with as many women as possible. To each their own, and a woman inviting you into her bed is just as responsible as you are by inviting her into yours, but we read all of these articles about how the Hookup Culture has ruined dating, yet we’re the ones not stopping the cycle. 

Look, if you’re not looking for commitment, and you make it known first, do whatever you want, but then you have no right to complain when you can’t find Mr./Miss. Right. On the flip side, we should never be considered prizes to be won, or just numbers on a scorecard, have pride in yourself and how you choose to live your life. 

 Thank the Internet – There was a time when the majority of people met their significant others through family and friends, but the Internet changed the game. Now, it’s the number one way people meet. We see nothing wrong with this. But, online gave way to mobile dating, and the game changed again. There’s really no wait time, especially when a Tinder message can appear as quickly as a text. 

The content of the messages is a different story entirely, but does perpetuate the idea that dating is dead. You may have liked a guy’s profile, which doesn’t state that he’s only looking for a hookup, but when you receive a ‘Netflix and chill?’ message, you have your answer.

Not looking for commitment – The door swings both ways on this one. We’re living in an era where young people are putting their careers before committed relationships, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, this doesn’t mean they want to ban intimate human contact until they’re ready for a relationship, and that’s where dating apps come in. 

Here’s the thing though, if you’re looking for commitment and find someone who’s not, don’t engage. You both know what you want and you’re not going to change the other person’s mind. Find someone who has the same wants and needs and you’ll find yourself living more comfortably knowing that you align in that way.

 Those were just a few examples from the list of topics surrounding dating apps, and here’s another noteworthy thought, it’s not all bad. Both A and one of her friends met their current boyfriends using Tinder.

For A, curiosity got the best of her and one Sunday afternoon she found herself creating a Tinder profile, expressly stating that she wasn’t looking for a hookup, and swiping (mostly) left out of sheer boredom. “I really wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but I knew what I wasn’t looking for, and that was a hookup.” When she came to profiles without pictures or any sort of bio it was an automatic left swipe. 

If a guy talked about his love of travel or had written something that seemed interesting, she’d swipe right. “If we matched, cool, if not, whatever, and if we started messaging and I lost interest, there was always the handy Unmatch button.”

For R, boredom lead to her an glass of wine, into her Google Play Store, and tapping "install" on the Tinder app. While it was downloading she was laughing to herself thinking she'd probably just delete it right away, but then curiosity got the best of her and she started swiping.

She had a similar outlook to A: not sure what I'm doing here or what I'm looking for she found the voice inside her head saying, "But this is pretty damn hilarious." (But, let's not pretend for a second that the Unmatch button didn't almost wear out because of the comical view R had when it came to this app and the "hellos" from the men (more like boys) with whom she matched. Let's also not pretend this app didn't hold a, frequently used, place on her phone for a few solid months.)

 When it comes to this Dating Apocalypse, A doesn’t think it exists. She believes that dating has evolved, just like this generation’s educational, career, and overall life priorities. “Just because it doesn’t fit the norm of what our parents knew doesn’t mean it’s wrong,” and neither she nor her boyfriend are ashamed to admit they met on Tinder, without it, they’d more than likely have never met. 

This is where R's story differs from A's a bit. A little over a year ago, while swiping (quite bored, discouraged, and not very amused) she swiped right on a man she is now madly in love with. 

It goes to show that even though these apps carry a stigma, many find laughable and many prove to be true, there can be some hope. (Now, we're not saying hold onto this hope desperately, but to be open to chance.)

Another thing to remember is that not all relationships are romantic ones. An old coworker of A’s met a guy on Tinder, nothing romantic ever came of it, but they did become really close friends, and they’re not the only ones, plenty of people have used these apps to meet new people without any romantic or hookup intentions from the beginning.

Why do you think there’s such a stigma surrounding dating apps? 

Have you ever met someone and developed a meaningful relationship because of it? Tell us in the comments.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

The Dating Chronicles – It’s the Holiday Season

Happy holidays TDC readers! As we wind down 2015 and prepare for 2016 in our personal and professional lives, we wanted to dedicate this post to what can often times become the most stressful time of the year, despite its general feeling of good cheer and abundant love. 

Whether you’re preparing for your final semester of college, planning to look for a new job as the new year rolls in, are attempting to whittle away at that mountain of student loan debt, feeling overwhelmed by all of the gifts you have to buy or are just trying to get through each day with your head above water, there is one aspect of your life you shouldn’t have to spend much, if any, time concerning yourself with; your relationship.

Of all the possible stressors in your life, don’t let this be one of them. As we’ve said in posts before, every relationship is different, so although we hope this helps you sort a few things out, ultimately you must do what feels the most comfortable for you and your significant other (S.O.). 

The Gift Exchange 
Either you will or you won’t, no two ways about it. If you’re in a relatively new relationship, don’t be afraid to talk to him about it before you go out and buy something, that way he knows where you stand and you know where he does. 

If you’re worried one of you may outdo the other, set a spending limit, and stick to it, don’t put yourselves in a potentially uncomfortable situation where one of you spends $30 and the other spends over $100, because chances are you’re both going to be upset to some degree. 

If gifts aren’t your thing then do something else, whether it be a trip somewhere, going to events that only happen this time of year, or maybe even agree that you’re not going to exchange gifts, some people don’t feel the need to and that’s perfectly okay, the main thing is that you don’t stress about it.

 Holiday Parties
Here’s the deal with the festive get-togethers. Parties with friends are never a concern, it’s the office parties that include significant others and family gatherings that tend to stress us out. How soon is too soon to bring him to large family functions? Will he even enjoy that office party or will he not speak to anyone and just have to awkwardly sit there? 

Here’s how we feel about it, if you have to ask yourself either question, you’re probably not ready to have him attend either. However, if your mom calls to talk about the family party and says, “And of course, Joe is more than welcome to join us,” and you feel all happy inside, then tell him you’d like for him to be there and ask if he’d like to come, don’t command it. 

He may jump at the chance or he may tell you that he’s not ready to meet your entire family. If he says that, don’t get upset and think he’s not serious about your relationship, some guys are a little timid when it comes to their girl’s family, or his family has already asked him to go away with them or something like that. As for the office holiday party, see what your coworkers do. 

If no one ever brings their S.O. don’t worry about bringing your guy, but if most do, then bring him, he’ll likely be asking you to go to his too if his office has a S.O. welcome policy then you’re all set.

New Year’s  Eve 
Personally, I’ve (Alyssa) never seen the big deal about spending New Year’s Eve with a S.O. Then again, the two relationships I’ve been in during this time of the year we had no choice but to be apart anyway so perhaps I just didn’t psych myself up enough beforehand to feel disappointed when there wasn’t a midnight kiss. 

Look, I’m no cynic, I think I get it, you’re starting a brand new year with your honey, full of promise, new hopes and desires as your relationship continues, but isn’t that what an anniversary is too, a celebration of the X amount of years you’ve been together and the start of another one? 

Try not to be too upset if you’re not able to spend New Year’s Eve together, just have a good time with your family or friends, it’s not the end of the world.

There is enough going on in the world to make all of us worry, don’t let something as small as the holiday season get added to the list. 

Have fun, be merry, and enjoy life’s little moments. See you in 2016!

 Happy New Year!

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

PR Tactics for Small Businesses

Every business needs PR, even the start-up, but outsourcing your PR efforts can seem pricey when you’re just starting out. However, there are different tactics a small business can implement themselves. There are surely more than these five strategies but it is important not to try to do everything. You want to make sure you take on what you can handle and execute effectively.

There are communities in social network and you should definitely be utilizing them! A good business should have an official, and professional, website – a place where your audience can come and get a clear idea of who you are and what you have to offer. (This is definitely part of your business where you don’t want to skimp and should thinking about hiring a professional designer who could work upon its interface to make it look representative, stylish, and different from others.) It is also crucial to make sure each one of your social media platforms is branded consistently with your website to ensure you are recognizable everywhere people find you.

Advertising strategies. Carefully chosen tactics will help your business attract loads of attention, potential clients, and possibly even business partners. Charity events are a great way to promote your business – as long as you have the time and money to invest. But, make sure you chose to support a charity that aligns with your brand’s values and mission.

Using newsletters is inexpensive and accessible. It is also a very important part of your marketing and PR efforts. Building your email list helps to expand your reach and share your expertise and offerings with people interested in your company and brand. Do your research to learn what your competitors have done, what has worked for them, what hasn’t work, and be sure to come up with something original and unique. Stay true to your brand and you will attract your ideal client type.

Create a special month, week, or even day. This can be effective because it helps clients, on the subconscious level, associate your business with this month, week or day. Promote this idea through your newsletter and social platforms and it will bring you dividends that will gradually become lucrative. Creating a special time that people associate with your brand is a great way to stay in their minds and generate interaction and interest, but again – always remember to stay aligned with the core values of your company. Do not stray just because you think it might spark interest. (Because even if it does, you may be attracting the wrong type of people – that does not equal more potential clients and revenue.)

Involve your audience. When a client feels respected and like they have a connection with your brand, they will participate. Going back to the creating of a professional website, make sure there is testimonial section so your clients can leave comments and reviews. This is essential and will help to entice new visitors – new visitors who may become new customers, if the feedback is positive. It also helps to build a good reputation for your business.

Think of successful advertising companies of existing businesses and point out for yourself what might be useful to take from them but implement it in the way those businesses was impossible to recognize bringing out something new, something yours so your voice was heard and your signature was seen through it.
Guest post by Melisa Marzett.

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Sunday, August 30, 2015

The Dating Chronicles – To Block or not to Block, That is the Question

We’ve all been there at different times, in varying situations, but this question eventually comes up: when do you block someone from contacting you?

Some people may do it out of habit; as soon as a connection dwindles they block a phone number, Facebook account, or dating profile. Some do it out of necessity, which A has done; when someone gets too intense or can’t seem to take no for an answer duhhh-lete, spam number, buh-bye. And don’t get us started on when someone says something completely inappropriate and is then offended when you get turned off. No one has time for that nonsense so peace out, “See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya,” style.

While there is typically a valid reason to block someone, we’re wondering if at times we can be too hasty, too trigger-happy as it were? Who are the people where a simple deletion from our contacts would be enough?

For A it’s usually situational. “I went out with this guy twice and just wasn’t feeling it so I let him know that I didn’t see it going anywhere. He wouldn’t stop trying to convince me that I was making the wrong decision so when the text amounts reached annoying level I blocked his number. It took a while for him to stop attempting to contact me (I saw the messages in my spam text folder) but eventually he got the message.”

There have been other times though when A has simply deleted a guy’s number and that’s been enough. The difficult thing however is trying to decide how long to keep contact information for someone you haven’t spoken to in ‘X’ amount of time. “[A] was talking to this guy and after two days of texting I just stopped hearing from him. I’ve handled the going ghost thing before so after a week, I deleted his number. About two months later I woke up to a text from someone apologizing for making the asshole move by just stopping talking to me. I had no idea who had sent the message so I had to ask who it was. He didn’t seem surprised or offended that I hadn’t kept his number and I wasn’t sorry that I’d had to ask.”
R has also blocked more than her fair share of guys. As she tells it:

To be honest, I have probably been quite harsh when it has come to sending numbers to spam. But, want another bit of honesty? I don’t feel bad about it.

Now, it wasn’t like I was sending everyone to the lonely-never-to-be-found-again spam island whenever I felt like it – I only sent dudes who I had just barely started talking to, to the magical folder. If, off the bat, I knew I wasn’t feeling it, off to spam they went. (Sure, “off the bat” could mean a couple of days, but c’mon… if you get your panties —or boxers? — in a bunch over that, you must have a bigger issue that you need to work out with yourself. Not my problem. And, definitely one I don't want to be apart of.)

I got so sick of, what seemed to be, the never-ending messages from needy, clingy, disgusting, rude, etc. guys. Sending them to spam just seemed like an easier option. Especially after I tried to say, 'thanks, but no thanks’ very nicely to one (this was before I discovered the beauty of my spam folder). He went crazy trying to tell me why I was wrong and why we were perfect for each other — for months. UGH. BYE. Yeah, yeah… that’s just one guy. Well, he wasn’t the only one who acted so childish and gross and I just didn’t care to deal with it anymore. I mean seriously, if you are so desperate, why would I even want to continue chatting ya up anyway?! GROSS.) And, if any of them wanted to do it to me within a few days — to be honest (again) more power to 'em, and no hurt feelings here. It just wasn’t meant to be.

 As you can see, we’re a 'take no prisoners' pair of gals! Neither one of us likes, or plays, games so we just do what we feel is right. 

What about you? Is there a time you blocked someone you then wish you hadn’t? Or not block someone that you eventually had to? TDC wants to know!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

9 Ways to Get Noticed at Work

Have you ever felt like people gloss over you like last month’s issue of Cosmo? Well, we’ve all heard the (somewhat terrible) saying “happy wife, happy life,” but this holds true for your work life too.

It may not seem like it, but your boss is under a lot of pressure and any way you can help to alleviate that pressure is a step up the ladder to your next promotion. Not only will your boss be appreciative to have had some of their workload delegated to a trustworthy team member, he or she will also recognize the loyalty, determination, and motivation you are pouring into your work.

Forbes listed 9 tips that are sure to get you noticed in the workplace.


Do your job, and do it well. It’s great that you are helping with a client’s sales pitch, but make sure you are doing the job you were hired for before anything else. If you were hired as an administrative assistant, everything better be filed and sorted before you even think about taking on any additional tasks. 

Get to know your boss. Know how they like to communicate. Get inside their brain. If you know your boss uses “good morning” as their email greeting, or prefers to have notes for their meeting the day before, have those things done and ready for them! It will save everyone’s time and they will appreciate your attention to detail and that they do not need to tell you every little thing they would like done. 

Assist, and support, your boss’s professional goals. Show your boss that you are genuinely interested in and passionate about the work that you do and the company’s goals. Show them that you are not just there to collect a paycheck. 

Be loyal. Loyalty is like gold. It’s like discovering that four leave clover everyone has heard about, but has almost never found. Rare. And when you do find one, you brag about it. 

Make your boss’s priorities your priorities. Show that you understand where they want to go with their business and you can, but more importantly are dedicated to helping them get there. 

Take initiative. Take the lead on projects that you are assigned. This doesn’t mean you have to complete every part of the project yourself -- go ahead and delegate tasks or do some preliminary research, but take the lead and see it through until the end. Also make sure that the end product is dazzling – not just something you are proud of, but that your boss will also be proud of as well. Your ability to take on a leadership role will speak volumes. 

Seek solutions. When an issue arises, seek out an effective solution. (This doesn’t have to be within your own department either.) Help out your coworkers and they will help you. It shows you are a team player, are familiar with the workings of the business, and that you are capable of handling situations on your own. 

Show interest. By all means, don’t kiss ass or be fake, but show interest in activities and topics that you boss is passionate about. Show them that you are invested in them in a personal level as well. If your boss’s child has autism and you see there is an autism walk over the weekend, ask if they’re going. Or, if you’re skimming the morning headlines over breakfast and see the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight is coming up and your boss is a boxing fan, ask about it! See where they are going to watch the game. You may not know much about boxing but this question can lead to other topics that you’re more familiar with. Eventually your boss may start coming to you to chat about their plans for the weekend, etc. Remember your boss is a person too. 

Demonstrate a long-term interest. Let it be known, through your actions and the words you speak, that you are invested in your future within the company as well as the company’s future itself. How can you make the company better? Did you figure out a new way to input customer information? Revamp the documents for new hires? Take some classes to get a better understanding of how to use your work software?

By following these tips, you will not only please your boss but it will also help put your name on their radar as someone who is dedicated, motivated, and passionate about their work.

Even if you don’t plan on staying forever it will at least open the door for a letter of recommendation that wow a future potential employer. Your boss may even suggest you for another job.

In the words of Henry Ward Beecher, "It's easier to go down a hill than up it, but the view is much better at the top.”

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Every #PRGirl Should Be Her Own #GirlBoss

We’re in the age of the female entrepreneur.

No, really. 

Even the United Nations has recognized, and honored, the growing community of women entrepreneurs by supporting Women Entrepreneurship Day. Founded in 2014 by social entrepreneur, best-selling author and animal advocate, Wendy Diamond, Women’s Entrepreneurship Day (WED) was founded with the mission to commemorate one day annually to celebrate, support, and empower women entrepreneurs worldwide.  From tech CEOs to product engineers, clothing designers to non-profit founders, WED celebrates women who have stepped out on their own to achieve the American dream – in their own way.

How can #PRGirls get a bite of the pie, you ask? 
It’s simple: some call it freelancing, I prefer consulting or strategizing! You get the gist. 

Not every woman has the gusto (or desire) to create a multi-million dollar company, and that’s ok! Get your foot in the door of entrepreneurship by positioning yourself to one day create your own agency or firm, starting with being an independent communications consultant.

During the summer of 2014, I quit my job and set out as an independent consultant titling myself an Integrated Marketing & Event Management consultant. Over the course of a year, I’ve juggled a total of 12 clients (not at the same time, of course!) Although it has its ups and downs, my work as a consultant has been a dream.

I find myself learning more, growing more, and going the extra mile – far more. Being your own boss doesn’t just mean you get to sleep in or work in your pajamas though. It means you have almost no one to answer to and you also don’t have anyone to go to for help. You search harder for answers, sweat a bit more when submitting a project, and go outside the box – far more.  

In case you’re not already sold on it, we’ve put together a list of the top 5 reasons every #PRGirl should step out on her own and be her own #GirlBoss.

Earn more money and be your own girl boss
On average, freelancers earn 45% more than those who are traditionally employed. They’re also allowed to deduct certain business expenses that employees are not – allowing to actually keep more of what they earn. Anyone that has ever seen billing for a PR firm (or any firm, really), knows that a company will bill a client over three to four times what the employee actually earns. It makes sense in the grand scheme of things- gotta keep the lights on! But, how unfair.

Forget climbing the corporate ladder, break your own glass ceiling in your free time
I’ve been independently consulting for nearly a year following my graduation from Howard University in 2014. There is no corporate ladder for me. I break my own glass ceilings. People are amazed that at 22 I’ve “figured it all out” and achieved, what some would call, the “American Dream.” But, it doesn’t stop here. Independently consulting has allowed me to further pursue additional goals of mine – attaining a Master’s degree from an Ivy League institute, lay groundwork for a non-profit organization, sit on a Board of Directors, grow an herb garden and travel for months at a time. 

Freelancing can actually expand your already existing skill-set
Last fall I picked up a few textbooks. One was a book on branding and design and another was on contract writing. Within a few months of beginning consulting, these are two skills that I felt were imperative to have. Not every consultant will initially have the funds to hire a lawyer to draft their consulting contracts for client work, so we turn to alternative resources. It has helped tremendously as I am currently in a position to draft a client contract in under 20 minutes using a template that I created myself. Imagine picking up a new skill that will help you in your day-to-day client interaction: graphic design, layout design, photography, contract writing, SEO, coding, website building. You could be unstoppable!

Go global – from your living room
Imagine sitting in your apartment in North Carolina, working on client work for a client based in California. You’re quite literally growing your network across the country without having to shell out the dough to be there often. What’s more #GirlBoss than that? Hunting for a traditional position means limiting yourself to local opportunities, unless you’re ready to uproot your life and move to a new location. With freelancing moving is not always necessary, which means you can work with someone around the corner or around the globe.

Truth is: self-employment is a fantastic lifestyle choice, but isn’t all glory – freelancing isn’t always an easy road to travel. However, it can provide great rewards for PR gals willing to step off the beaten path. Bear in mind that you need to have self-discipline to pull through, the kind of discipline imposed on you in the traditional workplace  but even more so. You can always be more more lenient with yourself, but by having proper time management, motivation, dedication, and knowing where to set your boundaries – there’s no stopping you.

{Guest post by Jenelle Coy.}

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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The Dating Chronicles – You + You = ❤️‍

Our dear TDC readers, I must start this post with an apology, I’m sorry for not writing anything in almost two months, but after the last post the truth is that I had no desire to talk about anything dating related or do much at all.

Now that I’m finally feeling like more of my usual self (not all the way there but close) it’s time to pick up where I left off and not just keep going, but moving on with new realizations and determinations for myself.

One of the most important things I’ve come to understand is that I am enough; my sparkle, my imperfections, my zest for life and my desire to live a full and meaningful one, and my shear being are all rolled into the body and mind that I call my own. 

To the friends and family who may read this and say, “I’ve told her that from the beginning,” I thank you for it, your words and actions weren’t lost on me, but this understanding was one I had to come to on my own terms and in my own time. 

And, to the ones still trying to come to that realization, don’t rush, your acceptance of knowing you are enough will come to you at the right moment. In other words, learning to love yourself first is the most important love you will ever have in this world.

I’ve been a fan of He’s Just Not That Into You since I first saw it and the ending monologue has some great truths in it, especially when it relates to moving on, being yourself and never giving up hope, which I think we can all admit isn’t always easy to do.

For myself, when it comes to moving on here’s where I stand:

» Even with all the progress I’ve made, during the rare moments when my world is quiet I sometimes catch myself getting lost in a memory.

» I believe he’s not sorry for what he did, but accepting that I’ll never get an apology is tough.

» Tied to that is also living with the realization that the relationship was completely one-sided and I meant little if nothing to him at all.

» I am stronger than I thought I was.

» My shattered heart isn’t quite as shattered anymore.

» Although I’m afraid, it’s not stopping me from getting to know someone new.

We all move on at our own pace, don’t set your moving on clock based on someone else’s timeline. What works for me might not work for you and vice versa.

 Just remember, love yourself first, share that love with the world and the Universe will take care of the rest.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

10 Tips to Maximize Your PR Internship this Summer

I always love collaborating with Kristen Ruby, so when she told me she had new summer interns, we thought it's time we hear from the Ruby Media Group interns again!

One of Kristen's awesome interns, Victoria, has some great words of wisdom for her fellow interns out there. {And, those of you who will be interning in the future!}

As a rising senior, majoring in public relations, the summertime only means one thing: securing a killer internship to set up success for the future. But, finally landing that dream internship is only half of your journey. 

While looking for your perfect internship, be careful not to make the mistake of only looking at a company's name and size.  If you're going to be spending your summer at a company, pay close attention to the actual tasks you will be required to do. 

Having been lucky enough to land my ideal PR internship at Ruby Media Group, in their Summer Associates Program on Wall Street, I can say I’ve learned all outskirts of the corporate communications PR business.  

Being an ambitious intern myself, I'm sharing the top 10 tips I have learned that can help you excel in your public relations internship.

Every task is an important one
Regardless of how big or small the task you are given is, it is important to remember that whatever you are doing is a crucial part of the company’s success. Whether it is something as ambitious as writing a full marketing plan or as small as editing a pitch, it is vital you realize that everything you do counts and is needed to achieve the end goal.

Always be willing to learn
There is a reason an internship is not considered a job, but an experience. As an intern you are not expected to know how to do everything, but you are expected to have a need to want to learn how to everything. The best way to learn is through experience; so this is the time to take every aspect of the job in and see what areas you like best.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Public relations is one of the most technologically advanced industries to work in because the media is constantly changing. Because of this, it is important that when you are given a task, you know exactly how to do what it is that is required. Remember, an internship is the first step towards a job, so this is your time to ask questions and really master all skills of the industry.

Your boss knows what they’re doing
During an internship you may be given something you feel is not important, and may even question why your boss would have you work on it. Regardless, it is vital to realize that there’s a reason your boss is assigning you the task at hand. They have been in your shoes before. Trust them and know that the tasks they are giving you will help you advance in your career.

Everything is an opportunity
Public relations is all about networking. If you want to truly take advantage of your internship, it is essential to always go out of your way to make it to every single networking event. Your boss isn’t letting you know about these events for their own benefit, but for yours. In this industry, the significance of networking is a crucial part of your success.

Speak your mind
If you have a great idea for a new pitch, speak up and tell your boss. Regardless of whether or not they use your idea, it will show them you want to be involved in the creative process.

Follow-up on projects you’ve done
As a PR intern, you will be asked to do a multitude of tasks on a daily basis. Your boss may not always be able to get back to you the second once each task is completed. Knowing this, it is important you not only finish your daily tasks, but also ask for feedback. It will help you complete tasks more efficiently, and also exhibit your eagerness to learn.

Strive to show your full potential
Yes, you are an intern and yes, you may not think of yourself as a leading part of the company, but you were picked as an intern for a reason. Always know the company saw potential in you and truly wants to see you soar to great heights in your career growth. Go for it and show them why they chose you.

Always be informed
Whether you consume your news from the Internet, newspaper, or TV – it is important to always be informed and make a habit of checking the news. Public relations is not a standstill industry, but a forever changing one. It is crucial to always be informed. 

Use social media
Your boss has worked hard at creating an enriching internship program and showing them you’re having a great experience goes a long way. Use your social media to post about the amazing opportunities and experiences given – and be sure to hashtag and mention your company in posts so they can share accordingly.

Guest post by Victoria Sandolo. She is a PR Intern at Ruby Media Group and a Communications Major at UCONN.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Dating Chronicles – Wrecking Ball

I have to admit that I contemplated whether or not to write this piece. This entry of The Dating Chronicles is extremely personal, not that the other pieces haven’t been, they’re all personal, but this wound was cut exceptionally deep. Ultimately though, I reminded myself that when TDC started I agreed to share my insights, and what message would it send if I picked and chose the insights I shared based solely on how comfortable the topics were? Not the best message, right?

So here it is, the aptly titled Wrecking Ball post…

Before I really get started, I want to back it up to here. In January, we published a post detailing how the simple things my guy was doing made me realize how happy I actually was before we’d even become official. Then on February 5, we made that leap into official and exclusive territory. Everything was going great, at least from my perspective, until about three weeks ago.

On May 6, I went to leave him a little cheer up gift since he told me he thought he’d failed his final in the class he’d been taking. I felt bad and thought a little something for him to come home to, after having to work all day on a Saturday, would be nice. Imagine my surprise when I pulled around the corner and saw his truck parked in his driveway. Now imagine my even bigger surprise when he came out of the house followed by a woman who took one look at me and immediately began radiating anger – while I on the other hand, radiated confusion.

That’s right, this post is dedicated to the experience I thought I’d never fall victim to.

Cheating. It only took a few minutes for that gigantic wrecking ball to be pulled back, released, and slammed right into my heart, shattering everything I thought I knew.

In the six months we’d been together, I was told multiple times he wasn’t seeing anyone else, and I’d assured him of the same. Only one of those months was he telling the truth. As one of my closest friends told me recently, “You gave him 100 percent of your heart; he gave you 10 percent of his.” I’m not a big fan of numbers but that statement really put the entire situation into one gut-wrenching perspective. Despite my generally good ability to read people, he had managed to fool me for five months. Talk about questioning yourself and your abilities.

Once I came to terms with the inevitable breakup, and over the shock of what happened, I had questions. I hoped (and it was in vain) that he could be honest with me for once, and give me the answers that would ultimately help me begin to heal. I got the “I’m so sorry,” the “I know there’s nothing I could ever do to make it up to you, but I want to try,” and the crème de la crème, “I still love you and want to be with you.”

In an extreme moment of weakness, the part of me that was still holding on to the love I felt for him believed him, thinking he was capable of being honest and had any sort of redeeming quality. Like a lot of people whose trust has been betrayed, I thought about giving him the benefit of the doubt, one more chance to make it right, he’d made a mistake but we could get past it because we loved each other, right? 

I’m just glad I found out sooner rather than later that he’d been feeding me the same lies he had in the months before, prior to me attempting to open my heart to him again. And as my sister put it, “At least you only wasted six months instead of a year.” Always one to be blunt, but I needed blunt.

For anyone who reads this and is committing infidelity, my warning to you, the truth has a way of making itself known, despite how clever you think you’re being. 
In my case it took five months, and then an additional three weeks, but the truth still came out. And a word to the wise, stop underestimating the power of the interwebs, or people’s abilities to find stuff out! We always do.

To those who have experienced or are experiencing this heartbreak, know you’re not alone and most importantly –
  • Understand that it’s not your fault, they were selfish
  • There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, everything that makes you you was undervalued
  • You’re not an idiot, they were a terrific liar
  • Hindsight is 20/20, don’t obsess over perceived missed signs and the “I should’ve known” feeling, their game was on point (or is everything on fleek now?)
  • You deserve so much better

 I know the thought of moving on and putting yourself out there again is terrifying (I’m there right now), as is the notion of you being able to trust someone again.

Remember –
  • Don’t rush into something new, getting under someone doesn’t help you get over someone
  • Take the time to grieve because as a wise friend told me, you have lost someone dear
  • Turn to those who’ve always had your back, but don’t be afraid to take some time for yourself
  • Not that you have to be the Energizer Bunny, but staying moderately busy seems to help
  • When you’re ready, find the balance between keeping your heart safe and opening it to the right person, the one who will cherish every moment with you
  • And, if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to beyond your girlfriends and mom, don’t be ashamed to seek the counsel you need

From one broken heart to all of the others, knowing that time will heal all wounds,